Why We Need to Set Soul Goals Before Life Goals
As we have seen in the last few years, life is generally unpredictable and unstable. Things we often take for granted can be easily removed from our life. This makes it hard to plan life goal markers, which often can lead to disappointment or feeling like a failure, or at the very least rigidly focused and out of life’s flow.
From a young age, I used to set goals all the time, one of them being to finish high school in 4 years instead of 5. And I did just that, but it was at a cost.
Many at the time would have seen that as brilliant or successful. I felt proud myself. What it meant, though, was I started University at too young of an age and I grew up too fast. I didn’t have a chance to really explore my inner world or figure out what I really wanted or where I was going. I just applied to University Business School and jumped right from high school.
My fear of missing out and being left behind by my friends who were a grade older than me was ultimately driving my reason to quicken my pace. I also was naturally ambitious.
But this was the biggest mistake of my life. Firstly, because I ended up with insane student loan debt at the age of 21 years old when I graduated, and secondly because I chose a degree that I ultimately hated. It wasn’t me yet I didn’t know until 3rd year that what as me was Sociology. It wasn’t worth acquiring more student loan debt just to get a Bachelor’s degree.
I know — privileged first-world problems. I’m lucky I went to University and graduated — that’s what people who didn’t have a $30K student loan in the early ‘00s and who had parental support tell me.
That one decision then led me down roads of office jobs and depressing feelings of never really doing something I was passionate about (until I started my own business 10 years later as a solopreneur holistic practitioner). Now you could say that my degree paid off — after all, I was running my own business. But no. Business school taught me how to be a good corporate white-collar worker. It did not teach me how to be an innovative, visionary entrepreneur. They are as similar to being a teacher and being a librarian — they are in related fields but have quite different skill sets and requirements.
My passion has always been about helping people. Business is just the necessary vehicle to do so.
So what does this have to do with the topic of Soul Goals vs. Life Goals. Well, everything.
If I had set Soul Goals for myself at that time, I would be in a very different place and would have made quite different choices that would have been more fulfilling and perhaps less expensive. Looking back, I was someone who:
- wanted to make a difference in the world
- loved people and wanted to help them
- wanted to express myself
- gave tons of advice and guidance to friends and peers
Knowing this about myself, my Soul Goal would have been to be a leader, humanitarian or writer. This would have then shaped my life goal on how to pursue those things — whether it was to volunteer abroad for a year, take a leadership program or go to school for English.
I know hindsight is 20/20 and the school system often misleads many people to career paths that aren’t matched. I’m not even going to blame the guidance counsellor I went to over and over again for help to figure out what to do with my one precious life only to be told I would be well-suited to being a bus driver (even though I got straight As in Math and Science).
You might be wondering what makes something a “soul goal”. From my experience, it is rooted in soul qualities like Love, Peace, Service, Compassion, Happiness, Meaning and Connection. The goal part is about what you want to learn or grow into — something that motivates you and guides to you being the best version of yourself (without being perfectionistic).
So much of this confusion about what to do in your life can be alleviated by some soul-searching and asking some of these simple questions:
- What do I need right now in my life?
- What do I care about (or “what matters to me”)?
- Who or what is inspiring me?
- Who am I — personality-wise, values-wise, and skill-wise?
- What opportunities are currently showing up for me?
- What would I do if I didn’t care what others thought?
When you review your answers, you can start seeing a natural path in front of you based on your values, passions and personality. Then you can set an overarching soul goal like: “Learn to Accept Myself” or more specifically “To write funny and heart-felt stories”.
Try it out — you never know what you’ll discover, but I can guarantee you it will offer you a deep sense of knowing who you are and how to make your next major decision.
If you need more support to sort out your heart and mind and make clear, conscious and aligned choices for your life, then book a FREE “Find a Soul-ution” Coaching Session with me. We will look at one area of your life where you feel stuck and unpack it together.
Keep listening to your heart! It will never fail you:)
Here’s to your happiness and fulfilment…
ox,
Heather, Inner Growth Coach
Confident Soul Coaching — Sweet Aha-s to Help You Grow
